i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
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Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
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I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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