shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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