My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
