Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
