My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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