4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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