I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize