hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
