I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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