whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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