Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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