I got chris browned last night
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
