with your own penis?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
