Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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