Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
