Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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