Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
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guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
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I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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