Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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