Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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