smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
