I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Are my feet made of real feet?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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