I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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