ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize