It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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