wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
