Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
