after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
