I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize