Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
