butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
