i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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