did you get engaged???
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
