She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
