My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
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i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
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I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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