Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
