he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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