New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
