No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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