I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You ate ashes out of my bong
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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