I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
