We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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