my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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