He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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