We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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