i just wanna soil my oats bro
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Life is so much better after having sex.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
