watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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