There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize