My balls are so social today.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
