Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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