you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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