Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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