butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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