maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
