there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
