he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize