She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize