I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
