I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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